Our society is ever more lonely, and social media is ever more hostile and disorienting. We long to be loved, but instead of embracing friendship across differences, we’ve adopted entrenched tribalism. In a recent article, Pastor G’Joe Joseph describes how we long for acceptance: “Whether it’s finding your ‘crew’ in middle school, pledging a fraternity or sorority in college, joining a CrossFit gym, or amassing political cronies, having a tribe is a longing in all our hearts.” 

Yet sin can corrupt our good desire, turning it into an entrenched us-versus-them mentality. How do we fight this?

First, we must talk to each other, not about each other. Have you noticed how tensions de-escalate when you delete the email you typed in frustration and instead give your coworker a call? Vitriol often fades when we talk voice-to-voice, and not merely with an avatar. 

Last week, The Gospel Coalition launched the Good Faith Debates series with a conversation about gun control between Nebraska pastor Bob Thune and British pastor Andrew Wilson. I’m grateful for how these men modeled healthy discussion and Christian unity amid substantive disagreement. Gather your family or some friends to watch these videos together. I’m confident that when we talk to each other, and keep the gospel central, we can disagree on lesser but still important matters in good faith. 

Second, we must focus on the mission, not on constant critique. Years ago in The Four Loves,  C. S. Lewis wrote, “You will not find the warrior, the poet, the philosopher, or the Christian by staring in his eyes as if he were your mistress: better fight beside him, read with him, argue with him, pray with him.” David Platt made a similar point in his Together for the Gospel sermon. We don’t find gospel unity when we’re staring at each other, finding fault. No, we have unity when we walk arm in arm toward a common mission.

We need mission focus, not hit pieces. We need institution builders, not perpetual critics. This will mean, as G’Joe goes on to say in his article, that we stop cross-examining each other and instead examine ourselves to see that we’re in the faith (2 Cor. 13:5)

Praying for unity,