Last month, I had the opportunity to meet with a young man who wanted to become a member of our church. He shared his testimony—one that’s become familiar over the years. He’d grown up in a Christian home. Heard the gospel throughout his childhood. Believed when he was young. Then struggled to live out his faith as a teen.

But something changed when he was 16. A mentor challenged him to follow Christ with his whole heart. To take his faith seriously. To make it his own. And he did. This week, as I read Steve Eatmon’s article, “Help Teens to Own Their Faith,” I thought of that young man’s testimony.

Eatmon writes to encourage parents, helping us understand our role and our limitations. Ultimately, we can’t change our kids’ hearts. But we can teach them how to think critically. Meanwhile, we should patiently trust the process: sow and water and let God give the growth.

But in an article on how kids can own their faith, Eatmon’s surprising advice is that we as parents first need to take ownership of ours. Our faith must be real and vital. As he explains, “So much of parenting isn’t figuring out how to cajole our kids into doing what we want them to do. It’s figuring out how to live a life we’d want our kids to copy.”