When I returned to America after two years on the mission field, there was one common question that kept me humble (and annoyed): “Hey, how was your trip?”

I can only imagine what the dynamic is like for long-term missionaries. According to Catherine Allison in an insightful new article, missionaries are often misunderstood—if not invisible altogether—when on furlough. This isn’t because all Christians are rude; perhaps many just feel intimidated, unsure of what to say or ask. What if a conversation reveals I didn’t read their newsletters? So, nervous (at best) or self-absorbed (at worst), we opt to play it safe. I’m busy anyway. Others will care for them.

This is a tragically naïve (and self-regarding) way to view overseas workers who have physically re-entered our churches and lives. Thankfully Allison, a former missionary herself, proposes practical tips for us all:

• Beware of missionary hero worship.
• Prepare for mixed emotions and culture shock.
• Make rest a priority.
• Help destigmatize mental-health concerns in missions.
• Meet needs. But meet wants, too.
• Above all, listen well.

Why should we carve out time to ask missionaries thoughtful, open-ended questions (rather than just fishing for exotic stories or leaving the effort to others)? Because, as Allison notes, “curiosity communicates interest, and interest communicates care.” It’s that simple. Being listened to is so close to being loved, after all, that most people cannot tell the difference.