Our teenage daughter has begun a persistent campaign to upgrade her flip phone to a smartphone. So far, she’s been unsuccessful.

She makes some good points. We’re the last family in our social circle to withhold smartphones from our teens, which sometimes means they don’t get a joke or they miss an invitation. Not having a smartphone comes at a social cost.

On the other hand, books like Freya India’s Girls® remind me why my wife and I have been so cautious. “This is the story of a generation being remade,” India argues, “from people into products, from girls into GIRLS®.” Technologies like smartphones and social media have made this transformation possible.

As Rebecca McLaughlin notes in her review, “Social media platforms created problems they subsequently diagnosed, and influencers were both victims and perpetrators, as algorithms rewarded extreme behaviors and wild claims.” Digital devices exploit our insecurities in ways that can be nearly irresistible to young people.

My wife and I know that forbidding access isn’t a permanent solution. Yet it may be helpful to allow our teenager’s brain to develop with limited and highly monitored access to the dopamine drip of a smartphone. In the end, however, discipling our daughter in the digital age isn’t just about saying “Stop scrolling so much.” It’s about nudging her to look to Jesus more. McLaughlin is right that for a generation of commodified kids, “their only hope is Jesus.”