This past weekend we had some friends over for dinner. They are the types of friends that we have come to know through doing ministry together but have not really had the occasion to just hang out an talk. During our dinner we were discussing how God brought the gospel to each of us and were all equally encouraged as we retread the paths of how our blessed God brought his loving message of salvation to us.
God used this opportunity to also bring great conviction upon me. In hearing Christie (my wife) speak of the various ways in which God showed her real need for a Savior she shared stories of how she would be so disgusted and embarrassed as I evangelized people at every stop. At this point in our marriage we both worked (military) and drove in together each day. According to Christie this persistent evangelization greatly aggravated her unbelieving heart.
I interrupted Christie and said, “I don’t remember that occasion.” And then quickly I said, jokingly, “I’ve got to meet that guy!” Speaking of myself.
What Christie said was true. I had brought the gospel everywhere I went. I did not care about rejection, mocking or inconvenience. But now, regrettably, I find myself more driven by a schedule than a burden. For truly I could say, like Paul (Rom. 1.15) that I am under obligation to the lost, but now am I under obligation to my schedule?
I have still been evangelizing people, still talking about Christ to some of those whom God gives me. However, I have not been plagued by this persistent resolve to bring the gospel to everyone…but just to some. The difference is striking. We can be actively engaged in evangelism without a burden for the lost. This is precisely why my conscience was being shredded.
I pretty much checked out of the conversation at this point and began analyzing, thinking and praying. I did not like what was happening. Perhaps I was more zealous as an Irish Arminian than an Irish Calvinist! Perhaps I had somehow erroneously come to think that God has foreordained my own laziness and lack of simmering zeal.
By God’s grace I have been meditating and praying and thinking on this. I am resolved to cultivate a greater burden for my neighbors. I am resolved to make it a point to bring my tracts everywhere I go, prayerfully looking for people to talk to.
Perhaps I could take a page out of the Emergent playbook here and endeavor to be missional here in my community. The Emergent Church movement is no doubt plagued with more than its share of problems; however, the emphasis upon missionaries in our communities is dead on. How differently would I live my life if I lived in France? If I was a missionary in France I would walk the streets, go to the shops, restaurants and marketplace with the expressed goal of evangelism. Sadly, I have slowly drifted away from this number one priority.
So I am encouraged greatly with this recent dose of conviction, served up by the Holy Spirit. Yesterday we were at a shopping mall and I had the opportunity to talk with two men at different stores about the gospel. Their response was so encouraging. One gentleman was saying how he has been recently identifying the fact that his religious views did not bring hope. Through our conversation he willfully admitted that the biblical gospel does indeed bring hope. This is the type of thing that flames the embers for me. In addition, last night I heard Christie on the phone evangelizing someone out of state. I know that my laziness rubs off on her, and so to my zeal. So husbands, know that you are leading and you are accountable. This scares me.
I am thankful today for an increased burden and obligation to talk of Christ to others. To see everyone I meet as a gospel prospect, those who need to hear of the love and grace of Jesus. I need to remind myself that I am a missionary here in Omaha and wherever God brings me and that my job is to at all times have my words and actions pointing to the King. Join me in praying for better eyesight to see the opportunities that God has given us, along with a more faithful and burdened heart to walk in this path of faithful and zealous evangelism.