All church leaders have had it happen. In the midst of a meeting of a group of people or with individuals someone says something that is off-base theologically or just plain lacking in discernment.What do you do? How do you handle it?
Let’s first admit that this is a bit of a tenuous situation. You have to balance the nuances of correction and instruction.
The easy answer is to raise an eyebrow and then bluntly tell them they are wrong and what is right. While this might be appear to be the easiest and most tidy method of handling this situation I believe it is not the best way to serve one another.
As Christians in general and leaders in particular we have to think about the process of how people learn.
An example of this might be with someone who has heard of a book that is not particularly helpful. As they ask about the book and show some appreciation for it you probably don’t want to just blast the book and tell them how to think about it. Instead you would want to highlight some concerns and talk them through it. It may be appropriate to set aside some further time to work through some of the issues associated with the particular author/book along with the pertinent biblical and theological answers.
Another example may be when someone says something that is not quite precise enough to fit through your theological strainer. What do you do? Well, you could leg-sweep them in front of everyone (perhaps even embarrassing them in front of their wife and kids) and tell them what to say instead. That may take care of them not saying that sentence again (it also might take care of them not attending your church anymore). Instead you could help to connect the thought behind what they are saying to the Scripture, perhaps a particular verse or theme, and then recast it with more precision in light of the text. This not only helps with their understanding but it builds trust. It may become a good platform to begin meeting together to work through other issues.
Both of these examples highlight the need to approach one another carefully and humbly. The goal is not to just to teach people what to think but how to think. Pastors and church leaders should be concerned as much with how people get to their conclusions as with their conclusions themselves.
Here are some items to remember in light of this:
1) Remember your own shortcomings. It will always help us in our tone with one another when remember that we ourselves don’t have it all figured out. We all need to grow in understanding of, maturity in and conformity to Christ (Eph. 4.11-15). This realization of personal need promotes an attitude of humility.
2) Remember the process. I remind myself that the process is a long-term process. I think I would go crazy governing my own life, let alone leading a church, if this were not true. Sanctification takes time. We are not zapped overnight. People are not going to come to Christ, join your church, and then start speaking in the polished grammar of the Reformed tongue. There will be some dangling participles (theologically speaking). It takes time; progress is made in steps. So, roll up your sleeves and get to work, patiently.
3) Work on the big stuff first. There is no need to fix every little detail in the first 5 minutes. Start with what is important. We should begin with refining one’s understanding of the gospel, the character of God, the authority of the Scriptures, biblical sanctification, the primacy of the church and then work our way out from there. It makes no sense to take someone who is a new believer and plunk them into an eschatology study when they don’t understand the holiness of God, the imputation of Christ’s righteousness, or the inerrancy of the Bible.
4) Remember the Holy Spirit. We must remember that God the Holy Spirit sanctifies his people (Rom. 8.1-30). He uses means but this is not a diestic process of sanctification. God works to conform his people to the image of Christ. Believers are involved in this process that the Holy Spirit has undertaken.
5) Remember the body. Ephesians 4 reminds us that the church is Christ’s body. Therefore, we have the privilege and obligation to attend to one another’s spiritual growth. In this sense we are our brother’s keeper. Therefore, we are to carefully and thoughtfully labor to see ourselves and others reflect Christ in theology and life.
While sometimes it is all you can do, I believe as a practice it is far too easy and I believe far too lazy to simply just correct people and tell them what to think. At the end of the day we want more, we want people to know what to think as well as how to think.