“My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” Matt. 26:38
Most present and loving Lord Jesus, twice in a year would be sobering; twice in a month would be shocking; but to have two families in our community of faith lose a loved one through suicide in one week is simply overwhelming. I offer this prayer today on behalf of our church family, but also for many, many others who are waking up to stories of incomparable loss and great heartache…
My heart races to you, Jesus… Where else can we go with our feelings of disbelief… numbness… “too-much-ness”… and profound sadness? No one has suffered sorrow… overwhelming sorrow like you. What you sustained in Gethsemane… what you embraced and accomplished on the cross… makes the path to your throne of grace clear, broad and fast.
O, holy and horrible mystery… you were made sin for us, Jesus… the victim and agent of sin. No one understands, like you, how disintegrated and distressed the heart can become… even to the point of losing all desire to live. No one understands, like you, the guilt and shame of sin… in those who harm others and in those who are harmed. No one understands, like you, betrayal… loss… forsakenness… emptiness… “what-more-could-we-have-done-ness”… and the condemning voice of the seducer and accuser of the brethren…
And no one understands, like you, what it must mean for us to stay present and keep watch with our suffering and sorrowing friends. Though you were abandoned by sleeping disciples, you will never abandon us. Jesus, help us know how to love in the darkness… better still, please love through us in the dark places of great sorrow. Bring your limitless tender mercies to bear… speak your wordless grace and your grace-full words… to us and through us. For no one can offer tears of hope and a tear-wiping hand like you, Jesus. So very Amen, we pray, in your solace-laden name.