When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:21-26
Gracious Father, the older I get the more I’ve come to appreciate the many characters and voices you’re recorded for us in your Word. There’s no moment, melancholy, or madness I’ll experience in life that you haven’t anticipated. Such is the reach and riches of the Scriptures. Today I praise you for writing into Israel’s hymnal a song for the bitter and the beastly.
Father, there are times when I forget that I’m living in a fallen world with a fragile heart among other foolish people just like me. My expectations of You, and others, become more connected to La-La Land than to reality. When this happens, I become just like the psalmist Asaph—an envious, angry, senseless mess.
That you tolerate me in those times of disconnect is extraordinary. That you still treasure me when I lose touch with gospel-sanity is astonishing. When I shake my first at you, your grasp of grace is all the tighter. When I complain about a stony silent heaven, you’re actively, quietly guiding my every footstep. When I try to ignore, spite or run away from you, you’re just as resolved to end my journey in the full presence of your glory. The gospel really is this big and this good.
Such love melts my icy heart. Continue the thaw. I’m not just the biggest loser when I pitch my tent in the land of disconnected heart. I’m also a thief, robbing a lot of people who are dear to me. Rescue me from my self-centeredness and demanding-ness.
Father, I want to live today in the joy of your free and full salvation for us in Jesus. I want to love with a gentle, grace-full, grateful heart. Life in this world is just too short to waste on being pouty and petty. So very Amen, I pray, in Jesus’ loving name.