For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! Rom. 7:22-25
Lord Jesus, though I’m conflict avoidant by nature and choice, this is one conflict about which I am actually excited. The very fact that there’s a war going on inside of me is a good thing, especially since the combatants are the gospel and my sinful nature. Your liberating kingdom has invaded the precincts of my rebellious soul. It’s a holy war, a beauty battle, a freedom fight, and the outcome is already determined. You’ve come to set me free and you won’t be denied. Having justified me, you will glorify me. The gospel will prevail. Yet I’m not naïve about the “mop-up” operation. Growing in grace is a messy and intense process.
Jesus, the only reason I now inwardly delight in God’s law is because the un-doable demands of the law drove me to you. I needed a substitute and a Savior, not a model and a coach; a second birth, not a second chance; a new heart, not renewed effort. You perfectly met all the requirements of the law for us, and you’ve exhausted God’s judgment against all our law breaking. There is no better news or peace-giving hope.
The messy part of knowing you comes from your commitment to make us like yourself. You’re more committed to getting “heaven” into us than getting us into heaven. I’m so thankful to know that one day I will be as loving and as lovely as you, for the Father will complete his work in each of his children, including me.
Until that day, allow me shamelessly to grieve the sinfulness of my sins. Now that I’m no longer guilty or condemned, let me clearly see my sins and idols; ruthlessly hate everything that contradicts your beauty; and relentlessly repent as a prisoner escaping the hoosegow of death. Increase my love for holiness and decrease my self-contempt.
Only the gospel can bring this kind of freedom, and an intense love and longing for your glory. Only by seeing more of you, Jesus, will I delight in this transforming journey. Only by the riches of the gospel will I flee the poverty of my folly. Jesus, you are the end of all our wretchedness. You’re the one who’s rescuing us from this “body of death”—all the effects and residue of the fall, all the trappings of our grave clothes, every semblance of every way we’re not like you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are the Savior, I am the saved one. Hallelujah! So very Amen I pray, in your most powerful and loving name.