A Prayer for Fresh Affections for Jesus
When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:21-26 Lord Jesus, many times I am beast-like before you: disconnected from your heart and mine; demanding towards others, even you; depressed by even the smallest hardship; delusional in the way I view things; all marks of gospel-dementia.
Remind my forgetful heart of what really matters, of what is really true, of what is really good. Though I think and act like a lonely orphan, you have made me yours. Your grasp of grace has a hold of me and you will never let go. In fact your hand clutching my hand is that of a Bridegroom holding his bride.
You are guiding my life in ways I often don’t have eyes to see, a heart to appreciate, or even a will to want. But truly, whose counsel is better than yours? You alone know the end from the beginning. In fact one word defines my future with you, GLORY. You have already graced me, you are guiding me and you will glorify me, with your whole bride and your whole creation!
In certain moments like this I honestly can say, heaven is “heavenly” only because of you. Turn such moments into hours, the hours into days and the days into weeks. You, indeed, are what I want more than anything else. Free me from thinking otherwise. Free me, free me, Lord Jesus. My broken cisterns only make me thirstier, my idols only fail me, my false lovers only destroy me. You are my portion, Lord Jesus, intensify my passion for only you, until the Day you return, a loving Bridegroom for a longing bride.