A Prayer of Awe
Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love. John 13:1b
Lord Jesus, I’m in awe of this story, this scene, this moment in the life of your disciples. It’s the night of your betrayal-the night you would be denied and abandoned, not just by Peter, but by all of the disciples. You knew this and yet you persisted in disrobing yourself, bending low, and washing the dirty feet of these broken, bungling, beloved men.
I’m in awe of this moment because it’s what keeps me sane-gospel sane. It anchors me when I lose my moorings. It centers me when I feel crazy. It quiets me when I am in trauma. It reels my heart in when I am in a wandering mode. This is how you love all of your followers, all of your disciples, your whole Bride. You have made us your own. You bought us with the very price of your lifeblood. We were bought out of sin and death, and placed into your righteousness and embrace. Absolutely nothing can separate us from your love.
While we are in this world, you are constantly loving us. You are loving us when we are our happiest and most content. And you are loving us when it feels like you are ignoring our prayers, indifferent to our pain, or incensed with our lives. In fact, whether we perceive it or not, the most constant, can-be-counted-upon reality in our lives is not death and taxes, but your loving kindness.
But it’s the last line in this one half of one verse that really gets me, Jesus. You don’t just love us constantly. You are committed to showing us the full extent of your love-it’s height, depth, width and breadth. Your love is not static, but dynamic. Most certainly, this turns our gaze to your cross. For it is in your death, Jesus, that we realize that there is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for others, especially the rebel other, the foolish other, the sinful other.
But it is also in your resurrection life that we are invited to see and savor the full extent of how you love us, how you love me. This isn’t narcissism, Jesus, it is necessity. It’s not selfish, it’s sacred. I am in awe, Jesus. Intensify my awe on this August Saturday. Amen