“Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good” (Rom.12:21).
“Jesus didn’t retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left himself in God’s hands who always judges fairly” (1Pet.2:24).
“Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul” (Prov.22:24-25).
Dear Jesus, how can we already be less than two weeks from March 2024? Time is racing, and the blood pressure of many is rising. Watching, listening, engaging in normal life—no matter the temperature of our zip codes, the “temper-temperature” of our culture is on the increase. I know I don’t see and speak for everyone, but anger fuses seem to be getting shorter, emotional “flair-ups” quicker, and relational “dust ups” are importing some radioactive dust.
Jesus, help us. The Scriptures above provide important warnings, and the Gospel gives us more than adequate provision. Anybody can get defensive, reactive, and combative. Our first instinct is often to repay in kind—zinger for zinger, copped attitude for copped attitude, snark for snark. But you don’t repay in kind, but in kindness. Do the same in and through us, Jesus.
“The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse”—though it’s certainly not the original meaning of the Biblical image, I do find wisdom in John Gottman’s use of the metaphor helpful. He describes four “deadly riders” bent on pillaging our relationships as Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt, and Stonewalling. Left un-checked, I personally know the destructive power of each. I’ve mounted those steeds, and I’ve got their hoof marks on me.
Better is the strategy my spiritual dad, Jack Miller, gave me years ago. Instead of “mounting” these angry horses, “mount a love offensive”—Jack would say. Prepent before you have to repent. Don’t be passive, but actively repay gracelessness with grace. Jesus, only you can do this in us and through us. We invite you—no, we implore you to do so. So Very Amen.